Surprises

There are things that surprises me about parenthood and about the changes in myself:

1) The depth of love I have for my child

2) The fear I have if anything happens to my child

3) Zero tolerance for horrible headline news relating to children or even sad movies about children

4) Better understanding of my parents, especially the sadness they had over my brother and I being deaf. I never could understand because I was fine with being deaf and felt that if they understood that I am fine with it, then they would feel better but I understand why they feel the way they do

5) How much fun I have watching Ava grow and reach her milestones and how entertaining Ava is

6) that I'm already looking forward to the next baby (not anytime soon, though!)

7) that I don't mind being with my child every single moment of the day - I thought I'd constantly want to hand my baby off to other people

8) that being a stay-at-home mom is actually fulfilling, not stifling. I never dreamed I'd become a SAHM and love it. I used to be much more career-minded and ambitious.

9) how much fun it is to be part of an exclusive club (parenthood) - I have more things to talk about with other parents than I ever did as a nonparent with other nonparents.

10) I think I must be boring to other nonparents/singles because I have nothing to talk about other than my kid

11) how I'd rather spend money on Ava than on myself - I always thought I was the most selfish person on the planet

12) how it can take all day to get stuff done around the house. I sometimes feel my nonparent friends don't understand how busy I am. I'm flexible but I do stay busy as a stay-at-home mom!

13) the patience I have for Ava. I thought I'd be a lot more impatient, intolerant, and irritable. Or maybe it's because I haven't been stretch to my limits yet.

14) how much fun I have with Greg... the different challenges we've faced in our marriage now that we are parents. I knew that we would but in some ways, I hadn't anticipated some of them. No one told us!

15) how maintaining a good attitude and optimistic outlook (and relying on our Father above) can make parenthood enjoyable.

16) that I have a huge, fierce, protective mama bear streak in me that is more instinctive than rational

17) how much I really don't care what people think about how I parent Ava - I used to care a little too much what others thought and I didn't think it would be any different with parenting but I find myself growing more confident and caring less about what others think.

I'm sure I'll have more surprises as Ava grows. Here is a short list of the things I've learned so far:

1) never say never - I said I wouldn't rock my baby to sleep (for fear she'd become dependent on that) and wouldn't nap with her in the same bed (we don't co-sleep at night but we take our first morning nap in my bed now)

2) parenting is as taboo a subject as religion and politics are

3) not to compare - every baby and every post-pregnancy body is different.

4) not to care what others think about how I parent - there are millions of different opinions and I can't worry about them all.

5) to relax - mistakes will happen and it's not the end of the world.

6) to listen to and respect my instincts above other people

7) and to stick to my guns when it comes to what I think is right for Ava

8) no one knows Ava better than I do

Okay, this post is over!